Kemudian

Then when I sleep, he looks at me with tears streaming down. Eyes accusing and sad, I try to soothe away the frowns to no avail as he shakes his head in sorrow and turns away. His warm figure nestled hesitatingly in my arms, shaking faintly. Words long whispered pour out of my dry lips, comforting a shadow that resides in my dreams and my memories. A silhouette of a person long gone.

I search for his name through the tunnels of my memory, but every time I am about to say the syllables, he slips away yet again. It's frustrating to say the least but still he smiles at me and nods patiently, telling me he'll wait. I ask him to just tell me, my memory failing me so miserably. He whispers in my ears that he is patient and he believes that I will remember.

In the mirror I see my aged face, but beyond it there's a smiling young girl, as a boy wraps his arms around her waist and he kisses her neck gently. He tells her of the Alps and of forever. I remember that word so clearly as if he is whispering it now. Forever. The word echoes absurdly in my mind and I start to cry without knowing why.

Faintly I hear echoes of conversations, fights and promises, and once again I wonder who he is. My frustration builds as I remember more.

An awful combination of colours looking like heaven on him as he pulls me along to places unknown. Butterfly kisses under the shelter of a barely waterproof jacket in the rain. Steaming anger that cools instantly as he holds me. Waking up next to a warm body, his face inches from mine. The taste of onions and spaghetti sauce on his lips. A hand faintly touching mine as we cross paths.

The memories now surface with the speed of a swimmer trying to get to the air that they so need. Pushing each other to get there first. My senses are bombarded as I remember details of an affair long gone. I laugh and I cry in turn, not knowing whether to be glad or upset that he is here once more.

A long gone lover, an affair buried deep within my heart and memories. A season that we spent in each other's hold, a season in which everything seemed to have been perfect. Unsoiled by the awful reality that surrounded us.

Slowly he smiles at me, showing me those loving eyes I knew so well. His youthful hand reaches out to my wrinkled ones, caressing each finger with affection smoothing out the years that passed me by.

Minutes roll off me like water on plastic, each breath comes easier till my auburn hair regains its past glory. The long tresses touching my shoulders once more, and I feel the restlessness of youth resonating in my bones.

I look to him with recognition and I open my lips to say a name that has so long wanted to escape my lips, yet he stills my opened mouth with a finger.

He tells me that he is sorry. Sorry that we had to spend our life apart. He is sorry that it took him so long to come by. And he tells me he is sorry for picking me up, and pulling me away from my family. Sad eyes searches mine and finally he points to a spot behind me and I turn to look.

A lady sits in her rocking chair, a slight smile lighting her tired face. Thinning white hair cropped close to her head, enhancing her fading elfin features. Her soft hands folded neatly on her lap.

I turn and question him. Is it my time? He nods sadly and I walk towards my body, watching my still chest curiously. I touch my hands to my face and stroke my cheeks for one last time, the skin soft and loose under my fingers.

He asks me to come with him and I nod, my eyes still at my body, looking back at the world that I'll be leaving.

He asks me to take his hands.

And this time I go.

He holds my face and kisses my lips tenderly. The butterfly kiss I have missed for an eternity. I smile as he whispers in my ears.

Forever.