Silent Prayer

please shower him with love, Lord

whisper through my sinful lips

 

please shower him with love, Lord

sang deep between my ribs

 

please shower him with love, Lord

contemplating into hidden words

while my fingers on your back caressing

 

please shower him with love, Lord

embodied every secret chord

when my eyes are closed full of wish

 

still and stiff

like a stone you won't swift

a prayer would do the trick

i believe, i believe, i believe

 

when a drop of compassion appears

my eyes shed a tear

i know universe would hear

your hearts showered with love my dear

 

embrace it

feel it

accept it

don't deny it

don't reject it

don't runaway from it

 

love has been poured upon you

love is in you

love is you

i love you

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Writer vanzoelska
vanzoelska at Silent Prayer (3 years 27 weeks ago)

like old song, but nice ;)

Writer Anaslama
Anaslama at Silent Prayer (3 years 34 weeks ago)
70

"Feel it. Accept it. Don't deny it."

Writer samalona
samalona at Silent Prayer (3 years 34 weeks ago)
70

Hats off to you for developing a habit to write poems in English, or at least that is what some of your poems indicated. I wrote some English poems myself, but haven't been satisfied so far with what I have made. Back to commenting this piece:
The title is not quite conducive; I would say it's almost a pleonasm or redundancy, since most prayers are uttered in silence. Of course this is arguable, but to my artistic taste this title does not say much.
The use of lowercase "i" is not suggested, unless you are trying to make a point by doing that. In the context of this poem, you are not. Because there is not a difference in effect to the whole poem, not an enhanced sense or anything whatsoever whether it is written in lowercase or in capital, then it is suggested that you write in a normal way as "I". It is said that, if you were trying to emphasize the person as a humble being, or to deny oneself, or something like that, or if the whole poem were talking about an out-of-the-box point of view, then maybe the lowercase "i" would be justified.
Next is the phrase "won't swift". I am sorry, but I could not find a reference of "swift" being a verb. I just looked up the online merriam-webster dictionary, among other searches.
Last but not least, I would not suggest using contraction as in "won't" and "don't", unless it is used in a colloquial context. If there is no artistic reason behind the usage, it is better to write the words in a normal way, such as "will not" or "do not". Also on Line 18, I suspected "your hearts" was meant to be "your heart's" or "your heart is".
This comment is not meant to undermine the meaning of this poem or the message which it carries. This is simply a comment on the way it is being conveyed.
If you have not joined an English-poetry workshop, may I suggest you take a look at the moderated site "The Poetry Free-for-all" at: http://www.everypoet.org/pffa/
Don't get discouraged, though; they are merciless, but it's worth it.
Looking forward to reading more of your English poems. And thank you. You have made me eager to writing more as well.
Keep on writing.

Writer amanda.joyce333
amanda.joyce333 at Silent Prayer (3 years 34 weeks ago)

This is what i call a true appreciation. Even more honoured knowing that you open Mirriam Webster for this. I am so blessed having you reviewinv this poem. Thank you soo much and will try to make better poems :)

Writer Wanderer
Wanderer at Silent Prayer (3 years 34 weeks ago)

*ikut menyimak*
Om samalona, saya minta izin culik link-nya :)

Writer amanda.joyce333
amanda.joyce333 at Silent Prayer (3 years 34 weeks ago)

Mba dir sukanya nyulik2 ih ..hehehe

Writer leonard
leonard at Silent Prayer (3 years 34 weeks ago)
70

Hopefully God answer your prayer, shower him or someone else better then him

Writer amanda.joyce333
amanda.joyce333 at Silent Prayer (3 years 34 weeks ago)

Someone else better than him? Hehehehehe...well, no matter, what i still will wish him love, showered qith love, feel love, accept and not rejecting love again :)..thank you btw..:)

Writer erwandaersa
erwandaersa at Silent Prayer (3 years 36 weeks ago)
80

Kita sama ya kak hihi :)

Writer Nine
Nine at Silent Prayer (3 years 36 weeks ago)
100

"love has been poured upon you

love is in you

love is you

i love you"
.
:)
.
Doa yang indah, saya jadi iri sama orang yang di doakan. Sepertinya puisi yang ini tidak se-"sedih" puisi-puisimu yang sebelumnya. Apa ya, kamu biasa bikin soal kepedihan, tapi di sini lebih kerasa "harapan" yang ada di setiap bait. Mohon maaf kalau ada salah silap dari saya. ^^
.
Tetap semangat berkarya. :)

Writer amanda.joyce333
amanda.joyce333 at Silent Prayer (3 years 36 weeks ago)

Abang bener banget. Ini memang ceritanya doanya uda pasrah banget, jadi saat ada setitik aja cahaya udah bahagianya minta ampun. Hehe.
Jadi ceritanya, ciri khas saya jni sedih fanpa harapan, melas, udah mau bunuh dr gt ga? HAKDZING!!. Baiklah kalau bgt. Huhu.

Banyak yg bilang mau jd orang yg didoain, orang yg didoain sih ga tau,,dan sepertinya pun ga peduli dan ga mau tau hehe.

Writer nusantara
nusantara at Silent Prayer (3 years 36 weeks ago)
80

Keren

Writer amanda.joyce333
amanda.joyce333 at Silent Prayer (3 years 36 weeks ago)

Eh makasih loh

Writer Wanderer
Wanderer at Silent Prayer (3 years 37 weeks ago)
80

No serpent will repent, even if it's for love.
doa yang tulus, semoga terkabul.
btw saya jg mau didoakan seperti ini :'v

Writer amanda.joyce333
amanda.joyce333 at Silent Prayer (3 years 37 weeks ago)

semoga ketemu orang yg ngedoain ya hehe

Writer wmhadjri1991
wmhadjri1991 at Silent Prayer (3 years 37 weeks ago)
80

Saya paling suka dua bait pertamanya :))

Writer amanda.joyce333
amanda.joyce333 at Silent Prayer (3 years 37 weeks ago)

saya juga..ahh sok sok sehati lah haha

Writer akuma89
akuma89 at Silent Prayer (3 years 37 weeks ago)

Doa yang bagus.
Shower him with happiness
Shower him with smile