FrenZy : Comments

Writer andrea
andrea at (11 years 2 weeks ago)

If not supplanted with exceptional embellishment, chances are, this kind of story may fall down into being mere quotidian.

Badly enough, it's getting more and more complicated.

Parenthood is one thing normal human beings, male or female, are likely to go through. So is the case of temporal paternal rejection during early infancy--there really is empirical support from certain eclectic field called 'behavioral research'. The 'phobia' depicted in the story is something natural, unlike the phobia the term really refers to, which is certainly a disease, at least to those shrinks and social psychologists.

All I'm saying is, apart from the story being too trivial, this might be a flaw for the curious. My point might be superfluous, but the galore of phobic terms in the beginning led me to seriously think that there is no way but to treat the title as it is, as an actual psychopathology, no matter how dubious or debatable it may be. It is more than just a name randomly picked from a list. It is how a reputable author of certain genre, e.g. speculative fiction, is doomed when such error occurs.

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P.S.: Would you please reply comments for the reason that I really need to know what you think about what I thought about what you've written?

Writer Bamby Cahyadi
Bamby Cahyadi at (11 years 2 weeks ago)

Excellent.

(Sekadar dibaca, tetapi memang ada beberapa bagian yang aku gak paham artinya, karena minimnya vokabulariku hehehe, maafkan)

Writer miss worm
miss worm at (11 years 2 weeks ago)

aku ndak bisa nulis bahasa inggris huhuhu iri :(

keep writing, winn. buku selanjutnya yang keluar apakah? *nagih mode on*

Writer RIAK
RIAK at (11 years 2 weeks ago)

Pasti akan lebih menarik dengan bahasa. Entah mengapa, kok, aku membacanya seperti kata-kata yang terpatah-patah ya, Winna? Ga seperti cerpen English-mu yang dulu-dulu banget ^^ atau ini hanya perasaanku saja? :D

Membayangkannya dengan bahasa membuat benakku melayang sendiri dengan kata-kata yang bisa dibuat lebih mmm... tegas?

Writer renge2024
renge2024 at (11 years 2 weeks ago)

tulisan bahasa inggris lo asyik juga ternyata ya.

asyik.gue sih enjoy bacanya

Writer 145
145 at (11 years 3 weeks ago)

Meskipun masih ada sedikit kesalahan dalam grammar tapi sepertinya bukan masalah besar.


Untuk isi yang dibawakan hmmm sangat menarik. Tidak kompleks tapi langsung to the point.


Deskripsi yang digunakan pun sederhana tapi mampu membawa pembaca memahami hal yang terjadi di dalam cerita.


Mungkin yang masih kurang jelas, adalah alasan phobia yang di derita suami sang tokoh utama. Karena biasanya phobia itu merupakan akibat trauma di masa lalu.

After all i do like this story ~_~

SAY NO TO JUNK COMMENT
CONSTRUCRIVE ONE IS BETTER

Writer wehahaha
wehahaha at (11 years 3 weeks ago)

Not bad. Not bad at all. Good story, written well. And in english!!!! ^^

Writer Arra
Arra at (11 years 3 weeks ago)

exactly my opinion same like rijon. Your English good, ur plot ok, ur strory NIce,,

yang paling penting baca cerita ini seperti membaca cerita novelis dunia!

Writer andrea
andrea at (11 years 3 weeks ago)

Man, this definitely gives me the creeps. Nothing cheerful through and through. Bleak! Like the tragic version of Holden Caulfield's Allie. And ... in present tense!

At first I wanted to shout, 'What was the secret? What was there to be revealed? What'd the stepfather done to keep the kid's mouth shut? Why set someone on fire--just thinking of simpler and less meditated _Dolores Claiborne_ for more plausible manslaughter--? What was with those stupid coroners in brown uniforms?'

But, no! This is as short as can be. Just about enough to get me thinking of kinds of possibilities--molestation turned murder turned incineration and then it went multiple or whatever. It just goes on inside my head; 'sall fine with me.

This is a good seed of bigger story. Care to elaborate? I'm looking forward to it. Only that I'm afraid the same effect will be hard to preserve--which might be something you already know of.

Writer Bamby Cahyadi
Bamby Cahyadi at (11 years 3 weeks ago)

Tapi jangan salah lho, aku salah seorang yang tidak suka dengan pasar malam (atau bentuk keramaian dimalam hari), membuat semuanya bergoyang, berputar dan membuatku terhuyung-huyung.

Dari segi cerita top banget, sang aku sangat pas memerankan lelaki yang terpuruk. Artinya ceritamu sangat hidup Fren!