wyde shi nichi profile

hahahahaha...
ty...

uhuyyy...lucu ouy...

bentuk kotak dengan sedikit otak...

nice!!!

Rainbow Grey--> Bukannya grey rainbow?

rainbow changed become grey -->ga usah already lebih ngalir kayanya
with every slice
and i'm cold as ice

rain dropped like fire, huge..
with every lick
and burnt my heart

mountain suddenly melts
and it sharp and high
you hold me so tight

we're destined to be together
even we don't have time
much longer

and the time is crying
before we are dying

LANJUUTT>>>

Revisi grammatical Wyde :

Tonight (is) so full
and the wind breeze (is) cold
but i feel so fool
to have no you to be hold--> tambahan biar rimanya jangkep

Yesterday i got fever
so i can't remember
you (made) promise about forever
but now you give me fornever--> tambahan biar rimanya jangkep

the wind (is) whispering lullaby
so i can sleep over dreamy -->dreamy what??kurang katanya nih karena dreamy is adjective nah noun-nya mana??misal dreamy night atau apalah..
without believ(ing) your destiny
or keep on asking you why--> tambahan biar rimanya jangkep

i wake up in the morning
and the sun (is) smiling
but you still wondering
what would it be if i'm not leaving--> tambahan biar rimanya jangkep

i trapped in my room
hold(ing) tight my broom
(trying)to leave the darkmoon
and go away from you in the afternoon--> tambahan biar rimanya jangkep
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perhatikan penggunaan "to be" seperti am, is, are dsbnya wyde..krusial tuh..selebihnya this poems is very nice in rhyme or in the meaning as well..lanjutt...
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REVISED VERSION-->sorry sok tahu

Tonight is so full
and the wind breeze is cold
but i feel so fool
to have no you to be hold

Yesterday i got fever
so i can not remember
you made promise about forever
but now you even smile for never

the wind is whispering lullaby
so i can sleep over dreamy lie
without believing your destiny
or keep on asking you why

i wake up in the morning
and the sun is smiling
but you still wondering
what would it be if I'm not leaving

i trapped in my room
holding tight my broom
trying to leave the dark moon
and go away from you soon

wahhh..mantap nih wyde..i really like this one..super kreatif dan disampaikan dengan sangat baik..

ahah

Maaf sok tahu. Ada susunan kata yang janggal rasanya. Disengaja? Seperti "fire huge", kenapa bukan "huge fire"? Sengajakah.

Selebihnya saya serahkan sama yang ahli puisi saja.

" memanjakan warna-warna
dengan segala fatamorgana "
terlalu banyak fatamorgana malah......dan kadang membuat aku ingin muntah....hehehehe ^_^ nice poem sis.

"banyak terpana
tolong pilih yang bermakna
banyak tertarik
tolong berikan yang terbaik"

itu yang aku suka.

salam