A Star For Me

“So romantic!” I said. I admire the view in front of me.
“Surprise!” he said.
“This is…” I’m speechless. I can’t stand staring at the wonderful view. The stars above the city light view.
“And that’s our table.” he points to a table on the corner.

The table have been decorated with romantic yellow candle and yellow roses. He knows my favorite color. I don’t know that he is so romantic. How can he think all about this romantic dinner. It is not like him.

He holds my hand gently. “This is your day, my lady!” he said.

He takes me to the table. I don’t believe it. he really do these romantic things. He even pulled my chair before I sit.

“Do you like the flowers?” he start.
“You shouldn’t do this,” I said. I did not answer his question. I still can not believe he could be so romantic.
“Why not?” he said.

The pianist start playing a song. He plays an intro of a song that I like most.

“This is my song. You did this?” I am surprise.
“I told you. This is your day.” he said.
“Bari… You are so romantic tonight. This is not you.”
He chuckles. “Of course it is.”
“No. Look at this! Flower, candle, the place, the view, and the song.”
“I see that. So what?”
“This is too much. You shouldn’t do this.”

I didn’t expect like this. I just want a simple night then finish it fast. Not like this, Bari. How can I set my heart if you do this. It was as if I was special.

“It's not perfect yet. I wish I could take a star. It will be my gift to you.”

Oh Bari... You make me flatter. You better not say that. I felt awkward. Do not do that romantic to me. Because I will hope this will not end. But it should be.

“You don’t like it.” he said sadly.
“No, I like it. I really like it. But it is too much.”
“I just want to make you happy. Just enjoy the night!”
“Bari…”
“Sssst… This is your favorite song. Don’t you want to hear it?” he said softly.
I smile. “Thank you!” I said then.
“You are welcome!”

We enjoy the music. But i can’t find a way to stop looking at him. I just realize that he is so charming. And what he did tonight really amaze me.

“Bari.” My heart skipped a beat.
“Huh?”
“I think I’m falling in love with you.” I do not believe my self. I just make a confession. I felt something through my body.
“You what?” he looks surprise.
“I’m falling in love with you.” I repeat.
He chuckles. “I hear you. You know what? I think the same.”
“Oh, good!” said another voice. A girl’s voice.

Bari and I turn our head to see who was she. It was Tania. And she should not be here. What is she doing here?

“why are you here?” I asked her in a panic.
“This is so good. You love each other. What about me?” said Tania.

She'll ruin everything. Can she restrain himself to let me and Bari this evening? I want to enjoy this night any longer.

Bari chuckles. “I love you too.” he said.
“So do I,” I said. No, I hate you!

What was I thinking? Spending a romantic evening with Bari? I can’t stand to laugh. Then Bari laughs too. So do Tania.

“So? How does Ferdy looks like?” I ask Tania.
“You succeeded in making him jealous. He is leaving.” Said Tania.
“Great!” I am relief. Then I look at Bari. Maybe it is not the right time to confess. "Uhm... Thank you, Bari!”
“You are welcome, Loli!” said Bari.

What if I say that I really love you, Bari? What if it is true?

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Writer synrio
synrio at A Star For Me (8 years 41 weeks ago)
20

I always like dialogue-based story.
I don't know if it's just me, but you missed too many tenses-based mistake :p

Writer Mikoto Harukaze
Mikoto Harukaze at A Star For Me (9 years 27 weeks ago)
70

Wah unpredictable^^

Writer someonefromthesky
someonefromthesky at A Star For Me (9 years 28 weeks ago)
90

"I wish I could take one star"
Kalimat itu agak aneh.

Ada beberapa kekurangtepatan tenses, coba diedit sekali lagi.

Tapi saya suka banget endingnya! Pengulangan opening di ending membuat cerita ini terasa lengkap. Ide yang bagus.

Writer vaniamathilda
vaniamathilda at A Star For Me (9 years 28 weeks ago)

hooo.. aneh ya?
aduh aku jadi maluuuuu
belum pernah nulis pakai bahasa Inggris
ternyata susah juga ^^
makasih masukan dan pujiannya
(malu-malu)

Writer vaniamathilda
vaniamathilda at A Star For Me (9 years 29 weeks ago)
100

hey! read it again!
it is edited...
hope it's better than before ^^

Writer Rijon
Rijon at A Star For Me (9 years 29 weeks ago)
70

I don't know. Did the writer intent to write some kind of dialogue-based story?

But I still don't feel the essence. Maybe because the lacks of description. I just don't feel the emotion.

The writer just seems tell me (as a reader) that his character (in this story) doing this, then doin that, than doing this, than said this, than said that. But no emotion.

Sorry. Keep wrting.

Writer vaniamathilda
vaniamathilda at A Star For Me (9 years 29 weeks ago)

"The writer just seems tell me (as a reader) that his character (in this story) doing this, then doin that, than doing this, than said this, than said that. But no emotion."

I get it...
thanks a lot!

by the way, I'm a girl....

Writer Rijon
Rijon at A Star For Me (9 years 29 weeks ago)

Oh, I'm sory. I didn't notice that you are a girl.

Nice to meet you.
Sorry.

Writer herjuno
herjuno at A Star For Me (9 years 30 weeks ago)

Ehm...setahuku yang namanya narasi di bahasa Inggris pakai past tense, deh. Jadi sepertinya ada bagian yang harus dibenahi.
Sama ini:: "You make me flattered"
kalau make (somebody) itu (yang artinya membuat seseorang menjadi) itu, harusnya setelah subjek adalah Verb 1. Ditambah dengan koreksi past tense, maka seharusnya jadi: "You made me flatter."
Oke, gitu aja. thanks!

Writer vaniamathilda
vaniamathilda at A Star For Me (9 years 30 weeks ago)

ooooo begitu rupanya....
Makasih banyak ya masukannya! ^^
I am flaterred. You make me flatter.

Writer Wajah barrow
Wajah barrow at A Star For Me (9 years 30 weeks ago)
50

Setahuku, romantyis itu...
Rokok, makan gratis...
Bener g ? he...

Writer vaniamathilda
vaniamathilda at A Star For Me (9 years 30 weeks ago)

setahuku,
Robot mainan otomatis..
^^

Writer leonard
leonard at A Star For Me (9 years 30 weeks ago)
80

I love it..Not because the romance enviroment made Windy fall in love....This moment is the perfect time to show and to tell, waiting for sometime.

Congrat and best regards

Writer vaniamathilda
vaniamathilda at A Star For Me (9 years 30 weeks ago)

Thank you! ^^

Writer dirgita
dirgita at A Star For Me (9 years 30 weeks ago)
80

Aku rasa, ada bagian informasi yang hilang, sehingga aku bingung. Siapa yang cemburu dan untuk apa dibuat cemburu?^^

Atau..., karena bahasa Inggris-ku yang ala kadarnya, yah? Hehehe.

Writer vaniamathilda
vaniamathilda at A Star For Me (9 years 30 weeks ago)

Sorry! It was my bad.
Udah kubenerin ceritanya..
Enjoy!

Writer vaniamathilda
vaniamathilda at A Star For Me (9 years 30 weeks ago)

Sorry! It was my bad.
Udah kubenerin ceritanya..
Enjoy!

Writer lakhesis_cards
lakhesis_cards at A Star For Me (9 years 30 weeks ago)
50

I am sorry, I just can not understand english! :(

Writer vaniamathilda
vaniamathilda at A Star For Me (9 years 30 weeks ago)

Sorry!
Coba lihat ceritaku yang lain!