The Words Worth Said

I’m attached to you
Like moth to flames
Like all men do
In the pursuit of fames

Though it hurts many times as hell
This will be the final place I dwell
My heart swell it doesn’t fit my chest anymore
I become so blind I don’t know which body I tore
To fill this unbearable dazzling light
To keep it still and shine it bright

I am not what I am anymore
When it comes to lust, and you
So please carry on with this illusion I wore
And let me find what it meant to be true

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Writer Riesling
Riesling at The Words Worth Said (8 years 42 weeks ago)
80

Good rhyming and choice of words~~ Just the part 'keep it still and shine it bright', shouldn't it be 'keep it still and shining bright'? I mean, 'shine' is the verb that can't be followed by an object or something (what did my teacher call it? Can't remember...)

But as a whole, this is one of the prettiest english poems I've ever read. Keep writing!

Writer KangBowo
KangBowo at The Words Worth Said (8 years 42 weeks ago)

ah, right. that part.... @_@a

it's just merely my subconscious telling me "why don't you write it as 'shine it bright' instead of just 'make it shining bright'?" @_@a

ah forget what I said :P
thx a lot for reading btw :D

Writer redstarz.84
redstarz.84 at The Words Worth Said (8 years 45 weeks ago)
100

like it a lot

Writer KangBowo
KangBowo at The Words Worth Said (8 years 42 weeks ago)

thx2 d^^b

Writer dablyu
dablyu at The Words Worth Said (8 years 45 weeks ago)

bagus, cuma mungkin ada beberapa kalimat yang harusnya jadi indah banget kalo diatur rimanya,

salam dablyu^^

Writer KangBowo
KangBowo at The Words Worth Said (8 years 45 weeks ago)

thx komennya miss w
iy nih pusing bener bikin rima pake bahasa inggris
akwkwkawk
salam w juga \^0^/